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Distance between Friends. Posted February 11th, 2012 by Irene. RoadMP900400295.JPG. Proximity can play an important role in making or breaking a friendship. QUESTION. Hi Irene,. My friend and I used to be really close, however, I live at ...
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My friend and I used to be really close, however, I live at least an hour away and I can't drive. We've slowly drifted apart, she answers calls less, responds to messages less, and we talk a whole lot less.
Now it seems that she has a new best friend, one of my former friends who I also could never see because of distance. I get a little upset when I see how close they are, because I feel like distance played a major role in this one, seeing how we could never hang out.
I will be moving out near them both this summer. Do you think that will help with the issues? I don't feel like she dropped me, I feel like I'm never there and have no way to get there, so she never asks.
Proximity plays an important role in friendships. Living near someone or working with the individual gives you both something in common and also makes a friendship more convenient. That said, living near someone isn't sufficient to create an emotional bond between two people.
Conversely, living some distance from someone or moving away doesn't necessarily preclude two people from being best friends but the miles between you do make it more challenging.
It's natural to feel a bit hurt or jealous when a once-best friend of yours becomes more distant from you and closer to one of your former friends---but if they both are part of each other's everyday worlds, it is also easy to see how that happened.
I'm not sure how your moving near both of them will play out. I think you need to be open to strengthening both friendships but not be too disappointed if one or both friends feel like they have moved on.
I've noticed that true friendships prevail over time and space. I have a friend miles away from me in another city, and we talk by Skype every other day. Distance does make it harder to maintain a friendship but if it's a close friendship, it shouldn't matter. If it's a casual friendship, distnace often does matter...one friend may not try as hard to keep up the friendship. At least, that's my experience. Best.
Well two of my best friends live in other countries. We work hard through Skype and email texts etc. so distance isn't an issue. Sounds like you've been downgraded. When you move closer you can give it a go and see if the friendship picks up. If it doesn't- it wasn't the distance. She just found other friends and moved on like you will have to. Don't cling to her if she isn't interested.
This blog explores the nature, meaning, and depth of female friendships. While many friendships last a lifetime---others blow up, fall apart or die on the vine. Here you?ll find a sprinkling of advice for women about how to nurture these vital ties, and how to move beyond the hurt and loss when friendships fail.